(un)cultured

When someone asks me about my ethnicity, I tell them that I'm Vietnamese. Then I immediately follow that up with, "But don't let my appearances fool you--I'm white more than anything." Now whether or not that's a laughing matter depends upon who you ask.

I'm always surprised at how liberal my parents have been about letting me do my own thing--that is, they don't constantly hound me about who I need to be, what I need to be doing, or who I need to marry. You see, Asian families are pretty notorious about pressuring their kids into making certain career choices or choosing certain types of people to marry. The parents of the first and only Vietnamese guy I've ever dated were very old-school, if not a little, um, overbearing. They hated me from day one because I had my own opinions and I wasn't afraid to assert them. Needless to say, the relationship didn't work out, but it wasn't because of them. But I digress.



This is the shrine in my house dedicated to my father's deceased parents. Twice a year (at each of their death anniversaries), my parents put food offerings at the shrine as a token of respect (fruits, desserts, and the like). They also light incense sticks and put in a few prayers to the spirits of my father's parents. When I was young, my parents would make me do the prayer thing as well, but I'd always feel so awkward when I did it. I never really knew what I was supposed to think when I was offering my prayers. After all, I had never met these people or even spoken to them. In the last few years, I've been able to avoid doing the prayer shtick whenever one of those two dates would come around.

Conversations with my parents about Vietnamese culture always end up being really awkward, so I guess they've learned to keep those talks to an absolute minimum. Sometimes I wonder if I should feel bad for not really wanting to get in touch with my roots. I've always figured that I'll get around to it when I feel like it--but will that time ever come? There's nothing that's really motivating me to explore my Vietnamese background. I mean, I barely even have any friends who are even Asian, let alone Vietnamese ones. I don't keep in touch with most of my relatives and I hate most of the other Vietnamese folks that are in my age group (because I'm an elitist snob). I guess I'll be content to remain an Americanized punk until external forces motivate me to do otherwise.

I wonder how many others are in a similar position as I am.