Was it a liberating moment?
Yes.
Was the notion of having to come to terms with all of my flaws and problems scary to me?
Hell yes.
I had proclaimed Jesus as my savior once before, but I was younger then (14, I think). I didn't understand the concept of giving giving my entire life God--that is, I still clung to my insecurities and shortcomings because I didn't trust Him to take care of them for me. With hindsight always being 20/20, I know now that it was a stupid thing to do.
So that night, when I finally found myself at the end of my rope, I laid my head on my desk and said, "Well, God, I guess it's about time you and I had a talk."
Yeah, it hurt to have to have to admit that I had done so much wrong. But you know what? The pain is short-lived and it pales in comparison to the overwhelming joy I experienced after. There is nothing quite like knowing that through Jesus Christ, God was and is willing to forgive every single one of my sins because He loves me.
"You serve a God...you were made by a God, that no matter how far you've drifted, no matter how far you've run, no matter how many bad alliances you've made, no matter how hopeless it seems, no matter how hopeless you are, you serve a God, a good God, who can turn your mistakes into a miracle." - Pastor Steven Furtick, Elevation Church
Apologies to the pastor for butchering the grammar in that quote. It's hard to transcribe the way people talk sometimes.
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